Goals describe why we do what we do. The definition of success that influences how we prioritize actions, focus attention, and measure performance. The end game fueling our biases and shaping what we view as a hit or a miss. Priorities reveal underlying goals and show how to communicate in ways that get heard. Knowing these three goals facilitates clearer communication.

MEANING (Thinking): Prioritizes logic and purpose. Bias for understanding. Characterized by rigorous thinking, depth, and quality of analysis aimed at figuring things out. Thinks in terms of ideas: Does it make sense? Reasoning precedes doing and connecting. To influence, resonate with them intellectually by showing you understand. Your best approach is to demonstrate how your plan aligns to their purpose.

AFFECT (Feeling): Prioritizes people and connection. Bias for caring. Characterized by a desire to be in relationship with and in service to others. Thinks in terms of emotional well-being: How is this for you? Shies away from conflict, and will sacrifice being right to preserve the relationship. Connecting precedes reasoning and doing. To influence, resonate with them emotionally by showing you care. Your best approach is to give your undivided attention to their concerns.

POWER (Doing): Prioritizes achievement, productivity, and results. Bias for action, output, and speed. Characterized by prolific doing, building, fixing. Thinks in terms of tasks: Who does what by when? Doing precedes understanding and connecting. To influence, resonate with them pragmatically by speaking to what needs to be done. Your best approach is to “be brief, be bright, be gone.”

With these goals in mind, rank order your preference. Then consider a recent conflict: was the other person prioritizing a different goal?

Adapted from The Kantor Framework.